I am a zombie and need an IV of coffee.

Soren, my 4 year old, has become my alarm clock. Soren wakes at sunrise, like a rooster. He crawls out of bed, toddles downstairs into our room, puts his face right next to mine and exhales…till the humidified aura of last nights mac n cheese camouflaged with strawberry toothpaste overpowers my stage 4 sleep. Sometimes he sneezes on me, scoring points for creativity, and offering a unique twist on a spa facial. When I jolt up, confused and disoriented, he falls to the floor giggling. Then he demands a toaster waffle. He’s lucky he’s cute.

I am a zombie and need an IV of coffee.

I head into the kitchen to find Killian, my 6 year old. Killian is my mini inventor, using all of our household tools to create things I neither want nor need…like a sponge holder magnet for the fridge. Killian has glue, paper clips, bamboo skewers, and dried beans spread all over the kitchen island. The moment he sees me he begins an excited rambling of his new creation and how much I’m going to love it. I nod, hoping the glue hasn’t destroyed the butcher block counter, and think to myself, “coffee....I love coffee.” Then he demands a toaster waffle. He’s lucky he’s cute.

In the mudroom, our yellow lab, Jackson, has destroyed his dog bed and peed in the corner. Again. He’s not that cute.

Side note: Toaster waffles. My boys love them, but they never actually eat them. They hold them in their hands while they watch Daniel Tiger, till they get soggy and smashed, then proceed to shove them in the sofa cushions. They’re found days later, after they’ve become stale and rock hard, and they’re used as edible Chinese throwing stars. Or they’re eaten by Jackson.

Hatton, my teenager, needs to be dragged out of bed by force. It takes him 20 minutes to get dressed; in that 20 minutes he neglects to put on matching socks. I ask if he’s brushed his teeth and put on deodorant. His reply is always the same, “I can’t remember.” So…no. I send him back upstairs while lecturing about personal hygiene and how one day he’s going to want a girlfriend. He tunes me out immediately. I hear him turn on the water and make splashy noises. He must think I’m an idiot; he’s up there playing with his Pokeman cards. I’m too exhausted to care. I send him to the bus stop with mismatched socks, bad breath, and inevitable body oder. Five minutes later I notice he’s left his homework on the dining table. He’s lucky he’s cute.

I envy my husband who somehow manages to escape the morning routine…every morning. He’s a ninja. And he’s lucky he’s cute.

I load the boys with toaster waffles and sippy cups of milk; I turn on Curious George. On a good day this buys me at least 10 minutes before the search party for mommy begins. I hide in the bathroom with a homemade cinnamon roll. A warm, gooey, sticky, buttery cinnamon roll. It may be my only moment of peace all day. Oh, but what a moment.

Homemade Cinnamon Rolls

Makes 12 rolls

Rolls

1/2 cup of whole milk
4 tablespoons of unsalted butter
1 package of dry active yeast
1/2 cup warm water
1/3 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs, at room temperature
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
3 1/4 cups all purpose flour + 1/2 cup additional for kneading

Filling

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/3 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Icing

1 1/4 cup powdered sugar, sifted
2 tablespoons whole milk
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Heat the milk and butter in a medium saucepan till butter is melted. Cool to lukewarm.
In an electric mixer fitted with a paddle, pour the yeast over warm water.
Beating at low speed, add the eggs and sugar. Mix till combined.
Add the salt, milk and butter mixture, and 2 cups of flour. Beat at medium speed till combined, about 1 minute.
Switch from the paddle attachment to the dough hook. Add 1 1/4 cups of flour and knead at medium speed for about 10 minutes. If needed, add more flour, sparingly. The dough should come away from the sides of bowl.
Pour dough onto a floured work surface. If dough feels sticky, add 1/4 to 1/2 cup more flour and knead by hand. The dough should feel smooth and elastic.
Place the dough in a large buttered bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Allow the dough to rise for 2 1/2 hours, till doubled in size.
After rise, make a fist and punch the center of the dough. Turn the dough onto a floured work surface and let it rest for 10 minutes.
Preheat your oven to 350°F and butter a 13x9 inch baking pan.
Mix the sugar and cinnamon together. Set aside.
Mix the raisins and nuts together. Set aside.
Roll the rested dough with a floured rolling pin into an evenly shaped 12x16 inch rectangle.
Brush the dough generously with melted butter.
Sprinkle generously with cinnamon and sugar. Sprinkle an even layer of raisins and walnuts.
Starting with the long side of dough, begin rolling into a log, pressing gently together as you go.
With a sharp knife, cut the log into 12 even pieces. Space them evenly in buttered pan, allowing for space between. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let them rise again, for one hour. The rolls should be touching.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes on center rack till golden brown. Allow to cool for 10 minutes, then turn them onto a wire rack to cool completely.
Whisk powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla in a bowl till combined. Drizzle over cooled rolls.